Relationship Guides
ADHD relationships can feel deeply loving one moment, and completely exhausting the next. If you or your partner has ADHD, you may notice recurring patterns like miscommunication, emotional overwhelm, forgetfulness, impulsivity, or feeling unheard. Over time, this can create tension, resentment, and a painful sense of disconnection—even when both people genuinely care.
Living with ADHD—or loving someone who does—can bring unique joys and challenges to a relationship. While ADHD can create hurdles in communication, time management, and emotional regulation, understanding its impact and adopting supportive strategies can help couples thrive. With patience, empathy, and the right tools, you can build a relationship that embraces each partner’s strengths while addressing their unique needs.
Do you ever feel like small disagreements escalate into big arguments, leaving you and your partner feeling frustrated or disconnected? These moments often stem from emotional triggers, which can cause intense reactions seemingly out of proportion to the situation. Understanding and managing these triggers is a crucial step toward improving your relationship and creating a stronger bond.
In this post, we’ll explore what emotional triggers are, identify common ones that affect relationships, and offer practical strategies to navigate them together.
There are two states we can be in – either stressed or relaxed. Conflict occurs in relationships when the stress response of one or both partners is activated.
Back in the day when our stress response evolved, our triggers were usually life threatening – lions, tigers and bears. (Oh my!) When the stress response activated all the available energy went into our arms and legs so we could fight the danger or run as fast as we possibly could away from it (we’ve all heard about the flight and fright response).
Have you ever wondered why you struggle so much to break that awful habit? Why you can’t change that behaviour that obviously isn’t working for you? Humans are pretty smart creatures, so why do we continue doing the ‘wrong’ thing, when we know it’s just that – wrong?
Why does a guy grab a gun and hold up the local quickie mart, promising himself that it’s the last time? Why am I sitting here eating spearmint ice-cream that I don’t even like the taste of?
The answer lies with our Core Needs.
There are 6 needs that every human has. The role of the unconscious is to satisfy these needs no matter what, even if we’re not aware of how we’re doing it. They are:
In 1995 Gary Chapman wrote a ground-breaking book called “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts”. Since then, it has sold over 10 million copies worldwide. Although I’m going to explore his ideas here, I encourage you to go out and read it for yourself or download the audiobook if you haven’t already done so to gain an even deeper understanding of his invaluable insights.
I have many tools in my toolbox. I use EFT Tapping, Hypnosis, NLP and Life Coaching. I teach my clients certain strategies. I educate them on Love Languages, Core Needs, Behavioural types. But none of this means anything without the Safe Space I create for my clients. Sometimes couples come in, and given the safe space that’s created, share things that have been on their mind for years, gaining a deeper understanding of one another almost immediately, shifting their perspective and therefore making dramatic shifts in just one session.
