This month I’ve been teaching you about STRESS. So far, I’ve covered what stress looks like to help you get real about the stress in your life. And now I’m going to introduce you to the most effective tool I know for releasing stress from you body.
Although EFT Tapping is a relatively new tool (having come into prominence in the 1990s), it’s roots go back to ancient Chinese medicine, using some of the points used in acupuncture.
In order to gain a deep understanding of how and why EFT Tapping works, we’re going to begin exploring your stress response.
Sometimes when we have a negative or traumatic experience, we are unable to process it, for one of many reasons. Maybe:
- The experience was too big or too traumatic to process (such as a death, or a violation)
- There were too many bad experiences to process them each before the next (such as constant violence)
- You felt as though you were not allowed to process the emotion in the way in which you felt you needed to (such as a parent telling you you’re a baby or that boys don’t cry)
When this happens, the emotions get supressed and therefore trapped in the body. However, the body doesn’t want them trapped (because they compromise our health as you’ll learn below), so they lie in waiting for an opportunity to be released. When we then have an experience that triggers similar emotions, these old emotions decide to try their luck at being released. So instead of having a response that’s in proportion to the experience you’ve just had, you have that and also the backlog of emotions from similar experiences and rolled into one. Not a good look, hey?!
Now, when we have negative emotions triggered, (such as fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, guilt, grief, sadness, jealousy) our sympathetic nervous system is activated. This is our stress response, otherwise known as the fight / flight or freeze response. When this happens, from an evolutionary perspective, our bodies channel all the available energy into our arms and legs so that we can either fight the proverbial sabre tooth tiger or run away from it. This drains energy from other vital functions such as digestion, immune function, higher thinking and memory. This is why when you’re stressed you can get sick, and why when you’re fighting with a loved one you can’t think straight.
These functions are managed by the parasympathetic nervous system, otherwise known as the rest and repair. And these two systems (sympathetic and parasympathetic) are unable to operate at the same time, so by activating the parasympathetic, the stress response gets de-activated automatically. This is where Tapping comes in.
Tapping uses the stimulation of certain meridian points around the body to activate the rest and repair system, thereby turning off the stress response. When this happens, any negative emotions that are presently active are given a chance to process in a safe, non-stressful environment, where they find it safe to be released.
There are three different things you can use as the subject or focus of your tapping (whatever it is that’s stressing you out):
1. Emotions (eg. fear, anxiety, sadness, anger, etc.) and the way in which you physically experience it (eg. as a tight ball in my chest)
2. Memories (eg. the time I watched my dad pack his suitcase, walk out the door without saying goodbye and the sound of his car driving away for the last time)
3. Limiting beliefs (eg. I’m not good enough, I’ll never find a partner) that prevent you from achieving your goals
4. Pain (because a huge percentage of pain is often psychological)
There are a few different tapping approaches:
1. Talk and Tap (for the time poor)
This method is to be used in the moment of being emotionally triggered. For instance, the kids may have triggered your anger, or the news may have triggered your anxiety. You’re feeling utterly overwhelmed and the physical sensation is evident. (Whether It’s a shortness of breath, a pain in the chest or butterflies in the belly, or something else, although for this approach you don’t have to know what it is specifically, just being aware that something has been triggered is a sign that you should use this method.)
Once you acknowledge that you’ve been triggered, you may or may not notice that your reaction is disproportionate to the actual incident. This is because there’s a backlog of emotions all taking the opportunity to be dealt with. So, if you feel overwhelmed this is actually a great opportunity to release all of it at once! The reason I believe this method is so effective is because it allows you to be human, to have human feelings (such as frustration at your kids, fear about the world) that are generally considered unacceptable, but then, instead of reinforcing the neural pathways for these thoughts and feelings, you are using them to release the emotions. You will notice that when you are in that same situation again, your reaction will be more proportionate to the event as the backlog has been released.
Here’s what you do:
a) Remove yourself from the situation (either from the people who triggered you or the event)
b) Start to tap through the points (it doesn’t matter if you get the order right but do try to cover them all)
c) Speak whatever is on your mind (eg. I’m so tired of being a mum, I’m so scared of getting sick and being alone, I wish my husband would pull his weight, he’s so selfish)
d) Watch yourself as you rapidly run out of words and therefore fuel for the fire (this will only take a few minutes)
2. Trigger Release
This is the method I use with my clients, but you can use it at home too. If you become aware of any issues that come up for you often or are negatively affecting your life, take note of them. Again, it might be an emotion, a memory or a limiting belief that you know triggers you often. The difference between this method and the Talk and Tap is that it is more purposeful and requires emotions to be triggered in order to work with them, as opposed to working with them once they’re already triggered. It also requires a bit more awareness of where the origin of the emotion lies, in order to go right to the source. The method is as follows:
a) Where in your body do you feel the emotional issue most strongly?
b) Rate its intensity on a scale of 0-10.
c) While tapping on the soft side of your hand, repeat this statement 3 times: “Even though I have (define the issue) I deeply and completely love and accept myself”.
d) Tap about 7 times on the other 8 points, repeating a brief phase that keeps you focussed on the issue. The points are, top of the head with an open palm, inside of the eyebrow where the hair finishes, side of the eye on the bone, under the eye on the bone, under the nose, under the bottom lip, collarbone with an open palm, under the arm when the bra strap would go.
e) Check in with the intensity again on the scale of 0-10. If still above a 2 repeat the process starting with “Even though I have this remaining (define the issue) I deeply and completely love and accept myself”.
f) Continue to repeat until below 2.
3. Peace Process (for people dedicated to releasing all their emotional triggers)
This is a process for people dedicated to practising tapping regularly to shift all trapped emotions. Here are the steps:
a) Make a commitment to a regular tapping practice, from 20-60 mins at least a few days a week.
b) Grab a notebook and write down all the memories, emotions or limiting beliefs you think you hold. Rate them from most impactful to least impactful.
c) Starting with the most impactful event tap using the 2nd process above (trigger release).
d) Work through the list until you’ve let everything go (this may take weeks or even months). If you become aware of any other issues as you go through the process, add them to your list.
Email me for a “Tapping On a Page” Guide to learn all the Tapping Points.